


That Would Be Enough

by NerdWhoSaysNi



Series: Marvel Oneshots [2]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Hamilton References, New York City, Stark Tower, World War III
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-18 19:58:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16523636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdWhoSaysNi/pseuds/NerdWhoSaysNi
Summary: I had emotions and a song stuck in my head. Here is the result.





	That Would Be Enough

_ Look around, look around _

_ At how lucky we are to be alive right now _

 

Haley paced a path in front of the Christmas tree. The red baubles bounced on the spruce limbs, reflecting golden droplets like a tame laser light show. In her fidgety hands, she clutched a piece of paper printed with ink smudged by fingers and tears. When? When would they be here? When would the men come home? She yearned to see her dad again. She wanted to see her friends and uncles and wrap her arms around them and feel them breathe. She wanted to know they were alive. As she paced, she opened the paper and read it again, another innumerable moment her eyes glazed over the words. ‘Ms. Haley Barton, it is my deepest regret to inform you…’ She could recite it if she wished, but she’d rather burn it. It couldn’t be true. Thor would know the truth, but he wasn’t here for her to ask him. Ask him what? What would she say? ‘How did your brother die?’ or ‘Did he really sacrifice himself to save you?’ both sounded callous. World War III had raked its bloody claws through the ranks of every army, and the Russo-Chinese Empire was not spared. The Specialized American Battalion containing the Avengers, the X-Men, and Loki and Thor had been deployed to the front lines in Surgut- a Russian city on the Siberian Plain. Bombs, grenades, landmines- explosives of all sorts seemed to be the weapons of choice. According to the letter crumpled in her fist, Thor had stepped on a landmine and Loki had pushed Thor far enough away and taken the blast. ‘There was nothing we could do…’ the letter read.

 

_ Look around, look around… _

 

Hearing footsteps, she ceased her pacing. “Stephen, Rose, watch out for-“ A thud and a young child’s wailing cry. The owner of the motherly admonition entered the room with a toddler on each hip. “Hal, it’s almost midnight,” Sapphire Stark-Rogers sighed. “You need to sleep.” The girls had been friends since years before the war started, and nothing had changed. Except that they were no longer young or naïve, Saph had married Tony Stark’s son and given birth to twins, and Hal’s optimistic hope and joy were drained.

 “I can sleep later. The men are coming in tonight.” She took Rose onto her own hip and bounced the little girl. Just about two years old. Had it really been that long? It seemed just last week she had stood beside her best friend and given a speech at her wedding. Two years.

 Two years had not worn well on Hal. Her long, blonde hair was tangled; her blue eyes were clouded and shadowed; her smile had long since disappeared and been replaced with hollow cheeks, a thin frown, and worried words. She had always been thin, but now she lived in baggy sweatshirts to hide her countable ribs and sharp collarbone.

 “The men are coming in?” Saph echoed. Just as she spoke, the doorway filled with weathered faces and broad shoulders. Captain Rogers and Tony Stark lead the way. Both wore fatigues and backpacks, but carried smiles as bright as the star atop the tree. They knelt to receive their waddling grandchildren and let the others in behind them. Bruce, Jane, Celeste, Erin, Natasha, Clint, Coulson, Fury, Thor, and Hill followed. Hugs circled the room, happy tears were shed, and congratulations were rained on Saph and her babies.

 “Where’s- where’s Jace?” she asked.

 Steve sighed. “He drew the short straw in his unit and to stay in Europe. They’ve removed him from the lines though, and assigned him to a project in London.”

 Hal watched Saph’s expression change from hopeful to devastated. “I’m so sorry,” Hal said, pulling her best friend into a hug. They embraced a moment before Saph tapped Hal’s shoulder.

 “Haley. Turn around.”

 “Why? What-?” she spoke as she turned, but her words were choked off. In the doorway, Loki sat in a wheelchair, struggling to get the wheels to roll onto the carpet. He wasn’t looking up, so when Haley flung her arms around his neck, he was genuinely surprised. “Don’t you _dare_ ever scare me like that again, or I swear, I will-“ She was interrupted by his deep chuckle and an even deeper kiss.

 “I missed you too,” he whispered.

 

_ I knew you’d fight until the war was won. _

_ The war’s not done… _

 

As soon as they got a chance, Hal and Loki excused themselves- separately, of course, they couldn’t cause too much of a stir- and met in Loki’s room. He had a much easier time navigating the wood floors of the hallway and room than he had had on the carpet. “You’re alive! How did- Why did I get this letter? What did they mean? What happened? Are you okay? Are you in pain? Loki, what’s going on?”

 He faced her and dared for a smile, but there was sadness in it. “Sit down, and I’ll explain everything.” He waited until she’d gotten comfortable cross-legged on his bed. “In Russia, they bury the landmines in the snow and the ground, so you can’t trust where you step. Ever. During a charge, Thor happened to step on a land mine, and-“ He hesitated. “He would have been shot. I pushed him off the land mine.”

 “So it must have blown?”

 “It did. But it had been raining for days and the wet and cold weakened the explosives,” he continued. “The blast broke my spine and shrapnel severed my spinal cord. Just above my L2. The doctors did what they could…”

 “But?”

 “But I have another surgery.”

 "When?”

 “In two weeks. In London.”

 Hal jumped to her feet. “London! You’re not staying? Why London?”

 Loki waited for her to sit again before he explained. “The doctors hope to remove the last of the shrapnel and send me into duty as soon as I’m healed. Jane says she knows a way to fix my paralysis and will do so the day before I leave.”

 She was speechless. “You’re just going to leave me here?”

 “I don’t want to, but what choice do I have? The war isn’t over. We haven’t won. To be blatantly honest, I don’t think we will.”

 

_ Will you relish being a poor man’s wife _

_ Unable to provide for your life? _

_ I relish being your wife… _

 

He held up a hand to silence her. “Haley, I love you, and you know I would cross oceans and galaxies for you. But the future of the world is being upset, and the army needs as many hands as possible. I’m already seen as a scoundrel. Few soldiers trust me. Hal, I have to go back. But I’m not leaving you here alone.” He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Will you promise to wait for me? Hal, when I return, for good, will you marry me? I don’t have a ring to give you, but my heart is yours-“ He stopped when he saw her shaking her head. “Haley, I-“

 She slid her hand out of his and placed it on his cheek. “Marriage during wartime is a bad idea. You don’t have to ask me to marry you for me to wait. Of course I’ll wait for you.”

 Loki took her hand back in both of his and leaned forward. “But I need… I need help, someone to trust, someone who trusts me, some way of knowing I’m not a monster.”

 

_ Look at where you are _

_ Look at where you started _

_ The fact that you’re alive is a miracle _

_ Just stay alive, that would be enough… _

 

“Loki!” Her sharp reprimand quieted him. “You are not a monster. You love and you trust and you think of others. Those are not traits of a monster. You were lied to as a child, mistreated as a prince, and tortured as a servant of Thanos, but those circumstances do not define you. They do not cement how you must act today or any day in the future. Look where you are now. You’re living peaceably with the Avengers in Stark Tower, you are surrounded by people who trust you and people you can confide in, and you are loved inside and out by me and Thor and so many others. And we love you for who you are, not who your past says you should be.”

 “But-“

 “No, listen to me. Laufey left you on a rock to die, but you’re still alive. The frost giants tried to kill you; you fell into the Void; the Hulk smashed you; and you fought the Kursed. By all odds, you should be dead. But you’re not. That means that you have a purpose here. With us.”

 “A purpose I have to find. I have to prove I’m safe for kids to play around.”

 “Loki,” she spoke over him. “You have nothing to prove. Just stay alive. Can you do that for me?” She could feel her throat tightening. “I can’t bear to lose you again. Just come home. I’ll wait for you, but you have to come home when this whole ordeal is over. Is that too much to ask? Please, just come back to me alive.”

 

_ I don’t pretend to know _

_ The challenges you’re facing… _

 

Loki couldn’t nod. He couldn’t say yes. He couldn’t make any promises he couldn’t keep. However, he could see Hal was upset, so he lifted himself onto the bed so he could sit beside her. Taking her into his arms, he laid down so they faced each other and lightly kissed her forehead. She was so fragile. As he rubbed her back, he could feel the way her skin had drawn tightly over her bones. “Hal,” he said softly.

 Her response was to hug him tighter and slip her hand up his shirt, feeling his spine and the scars from the shrapnel. When her fingers passed his L1, he could no longer feel the caress on his skin. “Does it hurt?” she asked quietly.

 “Not a bit. It’s numb.” Finding her hand, he moved her fingers to his L1 again and very slowly guided them downward. “Right there. I can’t feel that anymore.”

 “Does it bother you? Being in a wheelchair?”

 Loki answered, “No, not much. Uneven terrain like carpet is a challenge. Bathrooms are tricky. But when people are being annoying, I have an excuse for ‘accidentally’ running over their toes.” A small smile curled her lips and he seized the moment to kiss her.

 

_ If I could grant you peace of mind _

_ If you could let me inside your heart _

 

They cuddled in silence for a long time. Long enough for Hal to massage the knots out of his back using only one hand. Long enough for Loki to gently detangle her hair with his fingers. “What if I stayed? Here?” Hal suggested. “Moved into this room. I could help you with anything difficult or- or- “

 Loki agreed before she could finish her sentence. “Yes, absolutely. We’ll get your father’s approval first. It’s almost dawn, but it’ll be a few hours yet before anyone starts leaving their rooms. We should sleep.”

 His eyes left where they’d been focused on the greying sky outside the window and returned to Haley’s face. Her eyes were closed, her lips were slightly parted, and he could hear her breathing fall into the easy pattern of a sleeping person. After kissing her forehead, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax for the first time since WWIII had begun.

 

_ That would be enough. _

  
  



End file.
